How to Stop the Spiral When Things Go Wrong

Have you ever felt stuck when something goes wrong in your business? Maybe it’s gotten to the point where you don’t even want to show up anymore. Or perhaps you don’t know why you’re even trying or why you started your business in the first place. It’s time to talk about this since I’ve been in this position one or three–or one thousand times. My guess is you’ve been here too. But let’s not focus on the getting stuck part. Let’s talk about how to stop the spiral when things go wrong. 

 

 

I had the opportunity to get certified as an emotional intelligence coach this past year and WOW it has changed my perspective. It’s changed how I look at my business, setbacks, and overall life. One of the things that has helped me is figuring out what you do when you start to spiral. This “what if things get worse” mentality happens all too often.

To put it straightforwardly, I am a woman business owner, I work with women, I coach women, and the truth is–our emotions are driving the bus and we aren’t dealing with them. I can talk about strategy and tactics all day long as a marketing and business strategist, but the role our emotions play in our business ownership has to be addressed. 

I got certified as an emotional intelligence coach because I want to help you deal with what’s happening inside of you. You have such a big, fun, exciting, happy work to do and if you are held back by all of the spiraling then it’s going to be harder to step into who you actually are supposed to be. 

 

 

How to Stop the Spiral When Things Go Wrong

Like I said, I’ve been in the headspace many times before where I questioned myself and just wanted to give up. For instance, last December I had a reel go viral and someone made a comment that called me out on something and I took it personally. And the spiral began: “Should I take down my reel? Should I even keep doing this? What if people find out I’m a fraud? What if the stuff I’m teaching doesn’t work?” 

It even got to the point where I thought I shouldn’t even be on Instagram anymore. So how did I go from someone who just had a successful reel go viral to someone who vowed to never open the Instagram app again? It’s such a weird thing we do with our brains, isn’t it? 

That was a small thing that really triggered my mental health regarding my business. We can have small things similar to my experience or larger triggers happen in our businesses that send us spiraling. But we are going to stop doing that. We are going to stop pushing our emotions down and instead start processing them.  Here are 4 practical steps you can take right now that will stop the spiral when things go wrong. 

 

Stop the Spiral | Step #1: Practice a good morning routine.

This first one is more of a prevention tactic. Having a good morning routine will help you start every day with intention and get you in a good mental place right from the start. If you’ve been following me for a while, you probably have heard of my “3 before 9.” It’s where you check in with God, move your body, and get ready all before 9 a.m. 

I established this morning routine during COVID-19 when things were really tricky and I noticed I was not in the mental state that I wanted to be in. Doing these three things every morning helped me improve how I was feeling mentally and emotionally. So whether you take on this same 3 before 9 routine or create your own, just make sure you practice a good morning routine because this will help you take control of how your day will go rather than letting your day control you. 

 

Stop the Spiral | Step #2: Acknowledge what you’re actually scared of.

In that moment when you are triggered, what are you supposed to do? The first thing to do is acknowledge what you are actually scared of. Do not push this feeling down. Ask yourself what is making you lose it and then write it all down in a journal. 

“If I go viral I’m going to go viral for the wrong reasons. People are going to say mean things and if they say mean things then I’m not going to get my sales. If I don’t get my sales then I’m not going to make enough money this month. And then I’ll probably have to get another job.”

Notice how the spiral slowly steps into a darker space. And how do we scare away darkness? By giving it light. Writing it down on paper and giving our emotions a voice gives it light. You’ll be able to look at your first thought and compare it to your last. Just because someone made a mean comment on my reel, will I really have to fold my business? Of course not. 

 

 

Stop the Spiral | Step #3: Identify what you can actually control.

Once you’ve made your list, it’s time to identify what you can actually control about the situation. Continuing with my example of someone posting a rude comment on your reel, what can you control with that? You can control how you show up, how often you show up, and the intention in which you show up. 

You cannot control how people take the content you create, but you can control how you create it and the intention you create with it. When you create content, I bet your goal is always to help. Writing down what you can control and your intention behind it will help you refocus on the positive and bring some more light to your situation. 

 

Stop the Spiral | Step #4: Take action on what you can control.

From the list you just made on what you can control, choose one thing and actually do it. Remember, action brings clarity. If you can process some of those emotions you are having by getting them out and validating them, you won’t have to push them down anymore. 

As you walk yourself through these steps you’ll recognize what you’re feeling, validate them, and then take action on what you can do right now. This will bring you out of the spiral so fast! 

 

 

How to Stop the Spiral When Things Go Wrong 

I can’t wait to hear how taking these practical steps goes for you. This is truly how to stop the spiral when things go wrong. We are supposed to have emotions. Emotions help us know how to navigate life. They are actually really good and our goal should not be to never have emotions but to manage emotions–to understand them and use them. 

I didn’t always think this way. I grew up on a ranch, so I very much have that farm-girl mentality where you just need to “buck up” and “pull it together.” And while that farm girl is still inside of me, I’m also learning how to address my emotions and then let them go. 

If you enjoyed this post and want to learn more about how to become the business owner you’ve always dreamed of becoming, make sure you’re following me on Instagram @iammichellegifford. I also have some fun and super helpful products/courses coming that will help with this too, so make sure you’re watching my stories to find out what they are! 

Thanks so much for being here, friend.